Being 'she'

She is a middle-class girl. By the virtue of which she has to make sure that her dreams are not far too unconventional. She has to, at each step be careful, so as to not hurt the male ego. She has to make sure that in the process of growing up her thoughts don't go beyond what is 'accepted' in the society. She has to make sure that her career goals (if she is permitted to have one) are met before she crosses the marriageable age laid down by the society. Then the time comes, when she is sent to her 'real' home. She changes her name, surname, residence, and way of living and with all that takes the burden of living up to the expectations of everyone else and crosses the threshold. Now, within a few hours, she is considered a lady and no more a girl. She is expected to shoulder several responsibilities, take care of everybody, make sure that everyone is happy with everything that she does and remain obedient. Deliver a child when expected, quit her job when expected, cry when expected, laugh when expected and no matter what keep up the pretence. If she dares to think, behave or even speak differently, it is unbearable. She has to remain within the confines that have been made for her. So what, if she has given everything she has to please everyone. So, what if she is suffocating. So, what if she cannot take it anymore. She has to put up with all that. If nothing, she has to increase her tolerance levels. And mind you, all this with a smile on her face. Coz, she just has no choice. If she ever dares to follow her heart or walk out of a relationship, she is considered a fallen woman. The barbs that the society will throw in her direction make her life miserable. So, now with the circumstances that she is faced with, she is left with no choice but to believe in what her grandmother said - 'Women are born to serve men'.

Unfortunately, this is the kind of life, in the age of modernization and equality; some women are still forced to live. Sad, but certainly true.

Manjiri