Love for labour

Yesterday was a very very busy day. We had to bring out a four-pager pullout on our own. So, the day, despite ending very late, began early. With just three hours of sleep, I got back to work. The regular commute-reach-work-home regime. From the minute I entered to the minute things got assigned on the page, I was working non-stop like a subbing machine. Subbed almost all the copies, except for two. Was happy to see the end result. As usual, it is the boss who gets the credit and never the subordinate. By now, have somehow grown used to it. So, it simply didn't matter. After finishing work on the supplement, got down to some little work here and there for our regular paper. At the end of the day, felt that it had been a reallllllllllly long day. But was in more ways than one, glad that it had been that way. I would love to have such long days time and again. The occupied mind just doesn't allow you to dwell over thoughts which may or may not be that great. Those 8 or 9 or whatever number of hours, despite being the same person you manage to switch over to someone else, devoid of all the tensions which otherwise grip you. You enjoy the other side of yourself or seeing one of the multiple personalities we possess. The liberating feeling could be similar to the one that people get owing to their numerous addictions. Only in this case, with the constant pressure of performance. But, the appreciation or even the satisfaction of toiling hard throughout the day and heading to a sound sleep remains unprecedented. Wish I would be able to get a sound sleep everyday. If only Almighty could hear my prayers soon. If wishes were horses...

With the ifs and buts, but with a big smile on my face.

Manjiri

Technology troubles

One small incident which happened this afternoon scared the daylights out of me. All was set and I was about to leave for work precisely in 15 minutes to catch my fixed train, when a strange (not by its occurrence, but by its outcome) thought crossed my mind. I thought in the 15 minutes that I have on my hands, why not charge the MP3 player (it is a few days old). So, there I went. Fixing the USB chord to the PC and watching over fondly as the player was getting charged. But, my happiness was certain to get eclipsed. As the 15 minutes got over, I thought of safely removing the device from my PC. At that instance, I was shaken up. The reason: the device was not configured. It just wasn't showing. That scared me even more, because all the devices (read: pen drive, MP 3 player) that I possess are managed in my PC. And a candid confession is that I am ok but not great with these things. My mom started with her lecture that you didn't check before buying and someone bluffed you. At the spur of the moment, I even snapped back at her. I kept on asking my sister if she had uninstalled something (as she has the unique knack of sending the softwares to the recycle bin). She assured, ensured and convinced me that it was not a result of her antics. That scared me even more.

To avoid any further snapping back, I decided to shut down the PC and leave for work. At that jiffy, my sister suggested (brilliant) that we check if the pen drive is working. So, I inserted the pen drive in the PC. This time, in the neighbouring port. To my surprise, it got configured and the folder could be opened. Now, I tried the same with the MP3 player and it worked. I was happy and relieved and finally left.
The 15 minutes had now become half an hour.
The train... It got delayed and so I didn't miss it either.
Alls well that ends well

Manjiri

Being 'she'

She is a middle-class girl. By the virtue of which she has to make sure that her dreams are not far too unconventional. She has to, at each step be careful, so as to not hurt the male ego. She has to make sure that in the process of growing up her thoughts don't go beyond what is 'accepted' in the society. She has to make sure that her career goals (if she is permitted to have one) are met before she crosses the marriageable age laid down by the society. Then the time comes, when she is sent to her 'real' home. She changes her name, surname, residence, and way of living and with all that takes the burden of living up to the expectations of everyone else and crosses the threshold. Now, within a few hours, she is considered a lady and no more a girl. She is expected to shoulder several responsibilities, take care of everybody, make sure that everyone is happy with everything that she does and remain obedient. Deliver a child when expected, quit her job when expected, cry when expected, laugh when expected and no matter what keep up the pretence. If she dares to think, behave or even speak differently, it is unbearable. She has to remain within the confines that have been made for her. So what, if she has given everything she has to please everyone. So, what if she is suffocating. So, what if she cannot take it anymore. She has to put up with all that. If nothing, she has to increase her tolerance levels. And mind you, all this with a smile on her face. Coz, she just has no choice. If she ever dares to follow her heart or walk out of a relationship, she is considered a fallen woman. The barbs that the society will throw in her direction make her life miserable. So, now with the circumstances that she is faced with, she is left with no choice but to believe in what her grandmother said - 'Women are born to serve men'.

Unfortunately, this is the kind of life, in the age of modernization and equality; some women are still forced to live. Sad, but certainly true.

Manjiri

When logic is defied

Writing about this issue is causing me a lot of pain. I am someone, who's always believed that as you sow, so shall you reap. But, what happened over this weekend has coerced me to ponder. There is this little girl who is my neighbour. Her mother must be 4-5 years elder to me. As school students, we were good friends, but somehow as it happens, we lost track of what was happening in each other's life over a period of time. But what I discovered the other day was heart-breaking. Her 11-month-old daughter is acutely ill and doctors have almost lost hope. They have refused to give medication as they are aware that in a few days' time, she will be breathing her last.
If we go by the karmic theory and state - 'What goes around, comes around', how can we still explain a kid going through so much suffering? What on earth did the girl do to deserve so much pain? Even if we say that maybe the parents have done something wrong and so the child is being punished, that too cannot be applied in this case. I wouldn't say the mother is the best of human beings I have known, but I too am not the best one on this planet to judge her. So, the point is that the child does not deserve so much pain. My heart goes out to her.
I contrast this with the smiles flashing on the faces and victory signs being made. As we all know, there must surely be instances where the candidates have criminal records, scams involving crores of rupees most of which would be the hard-earned money of middle class man, charges of abduction, rape, murder and extortion against them. But they get to live a life of luxury and minimal sufferings which anyone of us would experience.
Even if, we were to believe that her mother sowed something so terrible, a middle class man can never get more gruesome than being little selfish here and there?
But, it seems, just like the world, even God tends to condone the crimes of the elite.
Though this realisation struck me really hard, my faith, just like any other middle class lady, will remain unquestioned in YOU.

Manjiri

Back to pavilion

Concealing the true emotions by refraining from thinking about the 'not-so-pleasant-things' is what I have been doing for the past few days. But, the fact is that true feelings are always there in my heart and refuse to depart, no matter what I do. Matters are going from bad to worse and I have no control over them.
At this juncture, all I can do is keep my fingers crossed and pray. Besides which, there is nothing in my control.

Manjiri

Addiction no 1

While I was travelling last night, a police constable uttered a quite interesting statement. He said, "The biggest addiction or the greatest craving each one of us suffers from is the urge to eat thrice a day."
This got me thinking. If you look at it, it is actually true. We do all the good, bad and the ugly things (depending on what your cravings are) for it. We hallucinate if we don't get our food. We beg, borrow, and steal for it. The list of the things we do to get our meal is endless. And parallels can be drawn with any addiciton that one can think of.
So, the point is the urge to eat is the biggest urge that one can ever have. And it is no doubt, the addiction no 1. (Is David Dhawan listening?)

Manjiri

Why should that matter?

Yesterday, while I was on my way back home, a strange thing happened. I was feeling really sick and in fact fell sick today. (As I write I am down with fever. But, let that be.) Was not at all in a position to talk to anyone or even to change the direction in which I was looking as it would consume my energy. While I was at the platform, suddenly I could see women gathered close to the police help counter. To be honest, I was not tempted to look or try to know what had happened. But suddenly the lady sitting next to me said, "Woh bachchon ko kya hua?" And I turned. Now, the fatigue was replaced by concern. That was when we discovered that three kids aged 4-6 had gotten off the train by mistake. They didn't know from where they boarded the train, nor were they were aware of where they were heading. Women had already begun cursing the parents of the children for being so careless. My heart went out to them and in my mind I uttered a silent prayer. That was that. The train approached the station and I had no choice but to move on. This is not the strange part of the incident. What happened after that was strange.
I got into the train and occupied a seat. The lady sitting to my right (who was also witness to the incident) again broached upon the kids' topic. (A female after all. Sorry for being sexist). At that instant, a burqa-clad (I wouldn't mention that if it didn't concern the story) lady to my left asked what had happened as she must have boarded the train one or two stations before my station and hence was oblivious to the whole incident. The lady narrated the whole thing to the burqa-clad lady. On hearing the whole incident, the lady turned to me and asked, "Were the kids Muslim?" This question left me startled. At an instant where a kid is crying, do we have to think about his religion before trying to pacify him? Is the religion so very important? When there was Babri Masjid demolition, or Godhra carnage or any bomb blasts (as there were too many in our country) did we ask the religion of the person before extending our hand to help?
Some may argue stating that the lady was not qualified enough. Point taken. But, in this country, does one have to enroll into a crash course for learning humanity? A woman, by birth, they say has maternal instinct. So in that instinct to care for a child, from where did the dilution of religion come? Why should it creep into our hearts?
We all are aware of what happens when one gets consumed by religious principles and ideologies and gets easily brainwashed. It's undoubtedly that what is responsibile for the ideological and philosophical regression that we as a country are facing.
It's high time that we stop at least now. If not for anyone else, for ourselves.

Manjiri

Boundless love

Read a story in today's edition of DNA. A story of a porter's son who managed to crack the IAS exams. He dedicated his success to his mother, a beedi worker who was always confident of her son's abilities to make it big in life. Similar to it, was the story of Pooja Chopra's mother and the hardships she went through to support her daughter till she reached the Miss India pageant. Also what one can recall was the manner in which AR Rahman thanked his mother for standing by him.
These are just a few instances where parents (though the mention mainly of mothers) have risked all they had and provided all that they could for their children's success. Each time, when I see a parent crying, praying and hoping that the child does well in any endeavour or life in general, I am amazed. Amazed as to how selfless parenthood makes you; thrilled by the urge of the parents to see their child happy; gladdened by their efforts to give all the comforts to their kid; touched by how they manage to do this without expecting anything in return.
May be they are right when they say that parents were created as God couldn't be present everywhere.

Manjiri

Growing old

Being called a 'grown-up' has been something which all of us craved for as a kid. Attending family functions where people said, 'She is growing tall', 'She looks lovely', or simply that now 'She is working' would make me happy. More than the words, it is the emotions which come along, which normally work for me. A case in point could be the glint of pride in my father's eyes when he told his friends that his daughter is now a 'journalist'. But something that happened yesterday has left me pensive.
If you look at it, it's not really a big deal. But, I didn't like it and that is what is significant. So, here goes the incident.
I was in the train (Yes yet again. I am telling you it is the recurring motif in my life). An old lady sat next to me. And there was a young boy who sat right opposite to me. This boy must be 12 or 13. He just asked me which was the station that passed by. I replied. To which the lady asked me, "Is he your son?"
I sheepishly and trying hard to placate my fury said, "He's not with me."
A small incident. May be I will get over it, within a few hours. But the fact that I do suffer from selective amnesia and do forget the things which I should remember, I wrote it down. (Was she right? Am I really growing old?)
Also, at that jiffy, I didn't like it. And so, it has to find a mention in my blog. After all, it is a part of my world. Isn't it? :-)

Manjiri

Shaky beginning

Let me first confess. I picked up the term 'shaky beginning', thanks to the innumerable (human beings are by nature exaggerative or is it selective amnesia?) music reality shows that I watch. The judges often say that the beginning was shaky as you did not let the chord or the sur seep in properly. Cut to the movie I watched yesterday. It was a simple film on the usual mother-in-law daughter-in-law saga. How the m-in-l gets insecure over the entry of d-in-l. The reason why I have given these references are because if we keenly observe there is a lot of similarity in both of them. In every relationship, apart from the ones we are born with, the beginning is more often than not shaky. It is impossible for anyone of us to say that we have not been through rough patches or turbulent times in our relationships. Then what is it that helps us sail through in some cases, whereas drown us in some.
You may say that why am I referring only to the relationships, when this law is applicable in every move that we make. Here is where the film comes into play. Career, work, friends – all these are the things where we are okay with making compromises. Coz, they are according to us our valued accomplishments. In stark contrast, it is the relationships which we believe are trivial, fickle and consequently breakable.
Coming back to the question. What protects us in some cases and does not help us in others? It is undoubtedly the will to not let it go. The very desire of making an effort to prevent our ship from sinking. There are times when the waves are extremely precarious to flounder. At an instance such as this, it is always advisable to halt. The waves may seem like they are willing to swallow you, you may be petrified, and wanting to give up, but you can always remember that this too shall pass. For some tides may take time to pacify. These are things which are at times beyond one's control. But that does not imply that they are indomitable. They too can be conquered over if one 'wants' to. And honestly, the joy and the elation on emerging triumphant from this wave are unprecedented.
So, now you know, that it is in this wanting that lies the key.
And as they say, there is no limit to wanting.
So, best luck.

Manjiri

As you sow, so shall you reap

Defying the dictum of Bhagwad Gita implying the performing of karma without any expectation, which I thoroughly believe in, this time I made a conscious effort to make things ok. To behave with someone in a good manner to get that kind of behaviour in return. I just extended the olive branch and it seems to be working. For how long will things work, I have no clue. But, at least, I have done my bit.

So, now I can rest in peace.

Manjiri

Caught 'em young

Childhood, they say, is one of the best times of a person's childhood. The small mistakes that you commit, the small lessons that you learn, the small accomplishments - each of these matter a lot and stay with you throughout your lifetime. So, what happens when a childhood gets eclipsed by fan-following, mass appeal and big bucks? Does it always remain normal or rather is it possible to keep it normal.
Let’s try and analyse this. All of us at some point or the other have gone through the time, be it at a school interview or competition or even the regular exams, where our parents have expected, hoped and admonished us in a bid to make sure that we perform better. So, if these children make an effort to master an art, which is either obtained as a result of divine blessing or parental pressing, there is absolutely no harm in it. The child excelling and displaying his skills at the best-possible platform with maximum reach definitely does add on to his confidence levels. Competitions are the best boosters and children too are not unaffected by adrenalin gush. But, the problem arises when this very art that the child has mastered, converts him from an enthusiast in the field to a professional. The lure of money with the craze for appreciation not only inculcates a superiority complex in the child, but also distances him from the absolute reality and makes him believe that the illusion is true and he can live with it forever. This is where the problem begins. The child who has now become a professional and is dealt with in a professional manner (in pecuniary terms) becomes used to doing things based on the results. The parents groom the impressionable mind in such a manner that the child starts believing the illusionary world around him. Heavy pay packets and people following them asking for their photographs and autographs becomes the kick for them.
What parents forget is that apart from the talent, it is the childhood innocence and the resemblance of the child with the character being portrayed which makes the performance amiable. The same does not hold true when the child grows up. The very child whose performance was appreciated as a child star may not be able to withstand the pressures when he grows up. The other way round too is possible. But, the cases in the vicinity suggesting so are quite few. Majority of them have proved to be duds. The reason: Not that they lack the talent, but the talent that they possessed was nipped in the bud and was kept restricted to primitive level. That child; who could have easily grown up to become a reputed name in his or her field owing to the expertise becomes nothing but a namesake of that one remarkable character he played.
But a close look at it suggests that all of it can be averted. The mental growth of the child should never suffer owing to the professional heights he conquers. The realisation that more is to be learned and can be learned combined with the academic expertise can make the ordeal easier.
Provided parents make the conscious effort.

Manjiri